My husband and I have been bickering so much lately, it’s driving me absolutely crazy. We fight about everything from how to load the dishwasher to who’s going to let the dog out at 5 a.m.

This morning when I was thinking to myself, “I just can’t take it anymore!” I came across this article on CNN. com. It turns out fighting is good for your relationship and actually helps us women live longer.

It made me laugh because a couple of the examples in the article are scenarios we live through day in and day out (especially the one about the laundry ending up in a pile on the bed and later stuffed into the closet). I feel better knowing I’m not alone.

While I’d rather not fight at all, taking that route can cut your life much shorter. So fight for your life, but as the article says, do it in a healthy manner (easier said that done when you’re in the heat of the moment)–no dirty looks, belittling remarks or silent treatments.

Long live the laundry piles–and us!

When we got married a few years ago, my husband’s Aunt promised that as a wedding gift, she’d come over and plant hundreds of daffodil bulbs all over our property so that every spring, when we looked out the window, we’d be pleasantly surprised and reminded of the all the incredible gifts that life and love bring.

Well, she finally got around to planting the bulbs this fall, several huge sacks of them.

Now spring is just about here, and I can’t wait to see all the little green shoots and yellow flowers starting  to pop up everywhere in unexpected places. It will be a nice reminder (especially after a long, cold winter) year after year of both of her unusual and thoughtful gift, and the amazing things the world has brought us, and continues to bring us each spring.

Well, who isn’t?

Like most people I know, lately we’ve just been trying to get through all the chores and challenges of every day–working, paying bills, changing diapers, shopping for groceries, trying to keep the house clean and clutter-free, making dinner, making time for friends and family, etc.

So just now I did a quick google search for some inspiration and came up with a few tips for better relationships we can all try right away. Here are four to start with. Pick one or try them all over the next few days and let me know what happens.

1. Never assume.
2. Compliment more than you criticize.
3. For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
4. Remember it’s ok to do things differently (there’s more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).

I think it was Dr. Phil who said on a recent show something to the effect of, “Every day you should wake up and say, `What can I do today to make my partner’s life a little bit better?’”

I’ve been trying to remind myself of that every day lately, especially since my husband and I have been like two ships that pass in the night. He works nights and the rest of the time is trying to renovate our carpenter’s nightmare of a fixer-upper all by himself, plus watch our 14-month-old daughter while I try to squeeze in working 20 hours a week from home.

Well anyway, every day I try to think of one little thing I can do to make his life easier or happier. Even if it’s as small as replacing the sliver of soap in the shower with a fresh bar so he doesn’t have to hop out mid-shower to go hunting for one, or putting his car keys in plain sight before he has to leave for work so he doesn’t waste 15 minutes in a panic looking for them. Now, am I romantic or what?

Hey, it’s a start! And I’m always looking for ideas–what are yours?